Resolutions to Leave in 2023

As the clock strikes midnight, heralding the arrival of yet another year, let us raise our glasses in a toast to the absurdity that life continues to offer. Ah, our annual tradition of setting grandiose goals for ourselves so we feel better about all the things we didn’t do the year prior. There truly is nothing like it. January 1st is certainly the most promising day of the year. This first day brings an aura of optimism and ambition that becomes infectious amongst most of our society. For one day of the year, we get to absolve ourselves of the guilt of not being productive enough. However, that guilt free feeling ends on January 2nd, which is why we can never resist the human urge to set a myriad of resolutions that are realistically abandoned by Valentine’s Day; A common side effect of firework smoke, too much champagne, and hearing one too many stories about old acquaintances hitting real life milestones while you still have to sleep with the nightlight on (okay, maybe that one was personal). We know resolutions are inevitable, despite the unrealistic nature of maintaining them for 365 consecutive days. So, if a resolution is what keeps you enthused for the new year, then by all means, do it. However, we’d like to give some unwanted advice to those looking to set new goals and fill up that first month (and first month only) of your new 2024 planner. Here is a list of 5 resolutions to leave in 2023:


1. Going to the Gym

The second anyone mentions the words “New Year’s Resolutions”, this is certainly the first thing that comes to mind. It’s the age-old “I’m going to go to the gym this year and I mean it” resolution your mom and your aunts promise each other at the kitchen table on New Year’s Eve. If anyone is looking to invest in a gym, I’d recommend starting in January. I’m pretty sure I saw the general manager of my local LA Fitness leaving in a bright red Porsche, so I don’t think he’d agree that this is a resolution we really ought to move on from.


2. Starting a Diet

Another classic mom and aunts at the kitchen table resolution. Often paired with resolution number one, I might add. Don’t get it twisted, eating healthy is always a good decision to make for yourself no matter what month it is, but we all know the meal prepping gets exhausting (and expensive). Sometimes you just want a greasy burger and sugary drink at the end of a long day. It’s one of life’s simplest pleasures.


3. Save Money

We’ll keep this one short and sweet–  inflation. We’re not quite out of the woods yet.


4. Learn a New Language

This is a great pastime, really. It’s always a very respectable thing to do. But let’s face it, you’ll start ignoring your Duolingo notifications by March at the latest. That little green owl just isn’t strong enough to rescue us from the clutches of procrastination.


5. Start a New Hobby

Before you decide to pick up painting and rush out to buy $100 worth of brushes, paints, and canvases, ask yourself if you’ll really keep up with this. Do you still see yourself painting even after someone looks at your painting and asks “what is that?”. If yes, then you have found your first good New Year’s resolution. If not, this one interferes with resolution number 3 anyway, and you really can’t have both.


In all seriousness, there really isn’t a bad New Year’s resolution if it makes you feel excited about the year ahead. Anything that makes you feel good about yourself is something worth doing, whether it’s a cliché resolution or no resolutions at all. New Year’s brings forth a virtual restart to our society, making us feel like we need to act upon change while things are still fresh. What we often fail to realize is that we don’t need a new year to make a change in our lives. You can start eating healthy in June. You can start learning that language in November. You can start saving money, well, always. The point is, every moment you live is an opportunity for a fresh start. Just because it’s the first day of the year doesn’t mean we need to craft ourselves into new people by the strike of midnight.Resolutions are a great way to set small personal goals, but you can also set goals at any point throughout the year because it is your life, and only you can decide how you want to live it. So, sign up for that gym membership if you want to. Don’t let us tell you any different. Cheers to 2024, and may this be your best year yet.

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